“Don’t even tempt me.”That was Ashley Pierce’s response when her friend Tammi tried to set her up with Walter.
Having spent a good portion of the last 10 years in a Las Vegas hospital bed, Pierce didn’t even want to entertain the thought of dating. He never backed out.“I never thought someone would marry me with my conditions,” 26-year-old Pierce recently wrote in a Facebook status. Crohn’s Disease and ulcerative colitis—chronic inflammatory conditions that affect the gastrointestinal and digestive tracts and include complications ranging from abdominal cramps to malnutrition.
Karen Swindells, 27, who has epilepsy, says a guy once dumped her right after she had a major brain surgery intended to reduce her seizures.“He felt like nothing positive was going on in my life at that time,” said Swindells, who works at a college bookstore and is now married. A few have been major, but most are small and stop her functioning for no longer than a few minutes.
After she has one, she’s often too tired to do much else, which has ended dates and prevented sexual activity.
Even waiting two or three dates is too long for some people, who accuse him of wasting their time.
Others nip the idea in the bud, since they can’t imagine losing someone they love to a disease (even though 7 out of 10 deaths in the United States are from disease according to a report published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)These are often the objections the chronically ill face from people who aren’t sick. Too depressing.”Swindells has up to 10 seizures a month, which is nothing compared to the 15 to 40 she had every day before her brain surgery at age 17.The more extreme physical chronic illnesses can make dating seem unrealistic or especially difficult, causing people like Pierce to think, “don’t even tempt me.”One major issue chronically ill people face in dating is disclosure.The question of when to share the illness with a prospective partner fills online forums, videos, articles, blogs, conferences, and discussions.And while it's unlikely he would spread the disease through protected sex, he’s had a decent number of people turn him down.He usually tells the person about his HIV after he sees that it’s going to be more than a platonic relationship.” and explained that she doesn’t want anyone to interfere with her active life.